Pants
Pants are an emblem of empowerment. Even though pants are worn by both genders these days, they are traditionally considered a man’s garment – so when we put them on, there are all these masculine traits that come with it: like logic, confidence, strength and pride.
Pants also offer more protection than skirts do. In the same way that we should choose to wear pants for harsh conditions in the winter or when trekking in the jungle, we should also choose to wear the pants in our relationships with others to avoid them to protect ourselves from being a pushover. Imagine going trekking in the jungle or taking a walk outside in the winter – we should choose pants because in terms of protection, they’ve got every corner covered. Likewise, wearing the pants to become a confident and strong individual will protect you.
In my wardrobe analogy, “Pants” represent the ability to take control of your life by nurturing your self-confidence and standing up for your beliefs. Remember the saying “who wears the pants”? Well, that’s going to be you, girl!
Okay… yes I want to wear the pants… but what does it take, really?
Step 1: Put on that Top!
What we learnt in our previous chapter is crucial to this following one. Before we can put on those pants and take control, we need to learn to love ourselves. I hope you’ve put that chapter in application J because once you’ve truly loved yourself, you’d get over a lot of your current insecurities that are affecting your ability to take charge.
Wearing the pants and taking control of your life requires you to be able to deal with rejection. As girls, we tend to be more emotional, with higher sensitivity to rejection. Its natural and normal, but we need to handle it in order to be effective. I know that this is so much easier said than done, but I’ve come up with a few pointers in the course of my 25 year old life to be able to offer a few tips J
- Tip number 1 on how to deal with rejection – expand further
- Tip number 2 on how to deal with rejection –expand further
- Tip number 3 on how to deal with rejection- expand further
Step 2: Set Goals
Once we’ve overcome that horrible fear of rejection, the next step is to “wearing the pants” in any relationship is to set goals. With a clear goal, you’ll be empowered with a purpose. It’s also a lot easier to make decisions that contribute to your goal.
Case in point: Hua Mulan.
Mulan wore the pants to disguise herself as a man, and to protect her elderly father from conscription.
Yes, she literally put on the pants- but that’s not what really matters! Mulan had the strength of conviction to do what she felt was right. Now that’s wearing the pants and taking charge of her destiny/life.
Mulan empowered herself had to set a goal for herself- she was going to be just as good, if not better, than any boy in that army camp, so that she wouldn’t be discovered and subsequently killed. She also wanted to save her country. Because of these goals, despite Mulan starting off as a village girl that was talk to only speak when spoken to, in the army, she became a powerful leader who saved her entire camp from disaster. She was able to make the right decisions and was confident that she was doing the right thing.
This is the opposite from the way I was in secondary school.
At that time, I was fortunate enough to be given many leadership opportunities. I took them up unknowingly, thinking it was better to take them up than to reject them. I had no goal or real reason for taking up the positions, so at the end of the day, I was left incredibly drained trying to fulfill these roles. I was not confident in my abilities, and always felt insecure about whether or not I was doing a good enough job. I allowed myself to easily give in to other people’s demands, and in this way, I didn’t wear the pants when I needed to.
Show Change.
Thankfully, i… and now I am achieving so much more with my goal of _____. I feel purposeful and am no longer a pushover J
Note to girls: Wearing the pants can be very tough! Remember Spiderman: “With great power (or control in this case!), comes great responsibility”!
Choosing to wear the pants is equivalent to being your own leader. You don’t submit to the demands of others whenever they want you to, and you set your own goals that are relevant to your success. Leadership is grand, yes, but don’t forget the responsibility…
Remember those days in primary school when we got scolded by our teachers for doing something naughty? How many of us hated it when we were singled out and scolded in front of the whole class? Did that feel worse than if the whole class got a scolding together?
In life we face a similar situation. If we ‘go with the flow’ and stay in the crowd, we can get away with slacking and small mistakes that go unnoticed. It’s only when we choose to shine and step up that people start noticing our every move. Sometimes, people would even want to bring us down simply because they’re insecure and think that we’re better than them (they should read Tops!). But as tough as this may be, this is the best part of being a leader. Leaders grow the most because it’s through such tribulations that you question yourself and define and refine what you want.
I used to be in touch rugby back when I was in National Junior College. So one day when I was talking to my dad he taught me something using a rugby analogy.
He taught me that life was like a rugby game.
He explained that life is like a rugby game in which the goal of the game is to move forward and gain ground from your opponent’s side. He explained that life will be filled with trials and tribulations and that you can’t run away from it as in the game…you will get ‘touched’ and have to put the ball down. Sometimes while getting touched you might fall, some falls are harder than the others, some more painful leaving months old bruises, but whatever it is, after each fall, the game continues.
The game isn’t over.
You NEED TO GET UP and continue on with the game. So in life after you take a big beating, you need to take authority over the situation and respect yourself to know that you can move on and that you deserve it.
Plus the faster you pick yourself up the higher the chance of bypassing your opponent (problem) don’t allow the fall to take authority over you. Take the lead in your life and CHARGE forward, quick and with determination so as to gain as much ground as possible.
I realized that ‘going for the touch’ might be scary and even painful at times but I slowly learnt how to focus on my goal, which was to pick myself and continue charging forward.
Conclude.
- Recap points on 1. Overcoming insecurities 2. The importance of setting goals and 3. The importance of keeping to your goals despite being knocked down.
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