Chapter 2: Tops Draft 1.0 (Cont. 2)

Attracting love:

When we meet people for the first time,…

…we think, “I like her!” or “I like him!” about people that send out good vibes. These are the people that feel good and make other people feel good too

…or we think, “I don’t like her” or “I don’t like him” about people that send out bad vibes. These are the people that aren’t happy to begin with and tend to make vicious remarks or glum faces to make everyone feel down and out.

Backtrack one step. Why do certain people send out bad vibes? Is it just because they’re born with a sour face that they can’t get rid of? Or that they stood under the sun too long and got a black face because of it? (kiddingJ) I don’t think so! I strongly believe that bad vibes are a result of a lack of love and unhappiness. When a person feels unloved/unwanted and unhappy, it shows in his interaction with others.

For those of us that feel loved, we feel secure and happy enough to send out good vibes. It’s a pretty simple formula, but not everyone gets it right on the first try. And do you realize how happy people just keep attracting more and more love? It’s a viciously delightful cycle.

Insert HOW to attract love. E.g. be being kind, considerate, thoughtful etc. give examples and real life applications.

Great, so now youre equipped with the skills of a love guru! However, Gary Chapman, author of Love Language identified something very important about giving and receiving love. While love may be there, there are different types of love with different people needing different ones.

Gary Chapman taught me that there are five love languages: quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation.

Here’s a snippet from the book itself

(insert snippet)

Each of us has a primary love language, and it’s one of the five that resonates with us the most. That’s not to say it’s the only way to make us feel loved. The other love languages can speak to us too, but just not as much as our primary love language.

We can tell what our primary love language is simply by examining how we tend to express our love for other people. Parents can tell how to make us feel loved just by observing how we like to express our love to them and others.

The concept for the five love languages originated from Gary Chapman, but there’s something extra we need to consider:

In Asian culture, tough love is a culturally accepted parenting practice. This means disciplining or scolding us, to teach us a lesson. But no one is going to feel loved or touched from a scolding or an act of trying to discipline us. It’s instances like this where miscommunication or misunderstandings start. When parents scold, it’s easier to get angry at them, rather than realize that they do it out of love and because they are on the lookout for us. At the same time, if parents explained why they choose to scold or discipline us, then it can translate into a love language: Quality Time.

The idea is that the five love languages should provide a framework for our actions to translate into expressions of love – that is, one of the love languages.

Making us feel loved makes us feel more secure and helps us feel positive about ourselves. Like a nice top that we throw on, the love that we decide to wear in our lives will make us feel good about ourselves and attract others.

I can’t stress how important it is for you to understand that you are an individual capable and deserving of love. Once you recognize that, your life will be full of joy and love, so much that you’d have to give it away! People will love being around you because your spirit uplifts theirs.