nakedness and packaging

NAKEDNESS & PACKAGING

There was once an emperor who was very fastidious about his wardrobe.

Two weavers managed to dupe the pompous monarch into believing that a fine suit was made for him, but only those worthy of seeing the fabric could really appreciate its beauty. Afraid to appear unworthy, the king ‘donned’ the invisible outfit and paraded himself in the village square in full glory.

~ The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson ~

Have we ever gone an entire day without clothes? Wait, let me rephrase that; have we ever lived a day naked? “Of course not!” we might say; but if we were to rewind our memories to the day we were born, we will realise that we all entered the world naked. We all started out the same—blank slates void of knowledge, skills, and achievements—these are the ‘clothing’ that we acquire in our life’s wardrobe, the things that are noticeable. Why do we need clothes at all? Of course, it gives us warmth and comfort; but more importantly, it offers protection from ridicule and offers enhancement of our assets (perhaps also to hide our fats). The bottom line is that clothes make us look better and helps us create better impressions of ourselves so that we can advance in life.

For example, when I was younger, I wanted to grow up to become someone famous and important. I thought success meant making it to onto a magazine cover. I looked at celebrities and their perfect coifs, perfect skin and perfect curves—all accentuated by gorgeous makeup, clothes and accessories—and I always thought it was out of my reach until I realised celebrities on magazine covers started out as blank slates like us, just with glamorous hairdos, makeup and clothes…not forgetting the skills and experience that got them there in the first place. The difference lay in the way they presented themselves and packaged themselves with the right clothes, accessories and makeup; and that was certainly not out of my reach. It just took extra effort, preparation and the right styling. No one wakes up one day looking like a supermodel without putting in any work. I’m sure we’ve all seen gossip magazines showing celebrities looking like any average person when they’re without makeup and fancy clothes.

Clothes can help us emphasise our traits and hide our flaws, just like developing our skills can help us emphasise our talents and compensate for our imperfections. All it takes is the choice to present ourselves to the world in the best possible light. However, this choice can either result in being poorly packaged (nakedness), just like the emperor in the fairytale at the beginning of this chapter, or being ‘branded’ so that we can make a good impression on others. For instance, someone might be the nicest, smartest and most competent person in a group of interviewees, but if she doesn’t package herself with the right ‘clothes’ of speech and thought, not to mention the right outfit, she will be overshadowed by someone else who knows how to ‘sweeten’ herself in the eyes of the employers. Humans are visual creatures with limited time to invest. Therefore, assumptions and judgements are usually made on first impressions.

Whether we become the president of a country, a CEO of a multi-national company or a regular waitress at a neighbourhood café is dependant on whether we allow ourselves to be clothed and packaged in a way that is accepted by the world. It isn’t about trying to please everyone we meet because that would be extremely tiring and unproductive, but it is about striking a balance between knowing how to appeal to the critical world we live in while being true to ourselves.

We all come in different shapes and sizes, just like the way we have different talents and traits. Our clothes should reflect how special each of us is. No! Our clothes should celebrate how special each of us is. That way, when people see us, they get a sneak preview of what we’re all about. No one has time to watch all the movies in the world, so trailers showing the best scenes of the movie to whet the appetite help people decide whether they want to know more. Our clothes, like movie trailers, should help bring out the best in us so we can shine brighter because it’s a superficial world. I’m not saying that people are shallow; it’s just that we rely a lot on our eyes to make decisions. After all, it takes seeing a movie trailer, not hearing, touching or smelling one to decide to watch a movie. Likewise, will our clothes make a good trailer so people want to get to know us better? The clothes we wear need to help us shine on the outside to show people just how special we can be, which in turn attracts positive attention. When we receive positive attention, we would naturally feel better about ourselves; we would then radiate this good feeling from the inside-out. Let me give an example.

My wardrobe used to be a monotone mesh of blacks and whites. It wasn’t much to look at; and like black-and-white movies, it would have done better in colour. However, I just didn’t have the confidence to pull bright colours off, and I think my sombre ensemble gave others hints at how unconfident I was. I was what I wore until I received a half-shoulder top with bright blue and yellow prints as a gift one day. It didn’t fit in my wardrobe’s tribe and pushed me out of my comfort zone. Its bright blue hue made me feel even more conscious of the attention I drew until people started complimenting me, saying that the top went great with my skin tone and that it emphasised my toned shoulders. For the first time in my life I felt like my clothes made people see the best in me. I felt good from the inside and it showed on the outside! That’s what it feels like to have an inside-out transformation.

So, wearing something that makes us look good on the outside helps us feel great on the inside. This sparks a feel-good cycle that keeps reinforcing itself from the outside-in and inside-out. I must say, though, that I would not have bought that top on my own. It took someone older and wiser to see me for what I could become and how I could change. I think this incident reminds us that we need to recognise the wisdom of older, more knowledgeable people such as our parents. It might not be something we would look for on our own, but our parents’ advice and guidance comes from years of experience in this harsh world that judges by what it sees.

Similarly, our parents’ hand-me-downs (clothes as well as advice) give us the added edge so that our maturity level can surpass that of our peers. It’s very much like saving money and time shopping when we receive some vintage items. The good mix of old and new clothes and accessories can differentiate us from the people who would probably be dressed in the typical outfits the malls carry. However, these hand-me-downs can only benefit us if we allow our parents’ lessons and life experiences to be something relevant in our own lives. How we make use of those hand-me-downs is a learning process, which might take time.

In primary one, we were all pretty clueless when it came to style. We all wore the uniforms we were handed no matter how long the skirt length or how high up the waistband or belt was. We also didn’t care whether our shoes were from an unidentifiable brand. In secondary school, I remember slightly shorter skirts, coloured sports bras, ankle socks and how we tied our hair were all important marks of self-expression. Next, was the junior college phase where coloured hair accessories, coloured shoes and school bags were added on as avenues to show off who we were underneath our uniforms. University (or polytechnic for some of us) was the ultimate time for expression since we were no longer confined to a uniform. We now had more choices to experiment with.

The lesson here is that if we want to stand out in our own special way, we need to develop our own sense of style. Different pieces of clothing, vintage or otherwise, should come together as a total package—a full outfit—to help us do that. This is what it takes to make a positive mark on people’s minds and open even more doors of opportunity. This is the same packaging principle Japanese products use. Make the packaging so irresistible that consumers develop a strong urge to buy even if the product isn’t that fantastic. The fact is that packaging acts as a guideline to the quality of what’s inside. Good packaging reels people in and gives them a reason to want to get to know what we are really like inside.

The same applies when we are attracted to certain guys. Females usually don’t want to admit that we are superficial when it comes to finding a life partner, but the fact is that we subconsciously are. Ultimately, we want to be with a man who can provide for us and our future family; who can enhance our lives in a way that we might not be able to do on our own; and this is regardless if we are career-minded or homebodies. The fact is that we tend to look at the packaging first before making a decision, and there are several things we look out for: family background, job title, car, watch and the clothes he wears.

Most clothes start off from the same materials: cotton or wool, threads, buttons or zippers, and dyes. What makes them different, however, is the process it is put through to come out as a bolt of cloth and the tailor’s techniques, which eventually labels it is as either a S$3,000 Gucci dress or a simple S$5 t-shirt that was picked up from a flea market. However, it is the person that eventually makes the outfit look like a million dollars.

First impressions, as I have mentioned, are the deal-makers (or deal-breakers). Most people don’t get a second chance to make it right, unlike a friend of mine. When I first met him, I felt he was nothing short of irritating, obnoxious and absolutely ridiculous. His fancy branded clothes and loud behaviour did nothing to convince me that this was someone worthy of friendship. However, a second meeting allowed me to review my opinion. I had actually caught him on one of his alcohol-induced days earlier and everything he was then was an act. His true self was hidden behind that façade. Had I not given him this second chance, I would not have realised the nice person underneath.

Not all first encounters end with bad impressions though, and second meetings might even add to our initial conviction. Another friend of mine, who was unassuming and down-to-earth when we first met. He dressed down, didn’t wear any flashy clothes, nor flaunt any money; and I was drawn to his strong family values. When I later realised he was actually quite well off, I was even more impressed by his humility as most testosterone-raging young men would have flashed their opulence to impress their peers.

Basically, we live in a world that is quick to judge because technology has made life so fast-paced that we need to be practical about how we spend our time. We form relationships with people who fit what we are looking for or people we think are similar to us; and often, the only way to tell all this at first glance is through clothes. So, if we’re going to wear something (instead of being naked), let’s choose to wear something that helps our individuality shine instead.