The Lingerie Effect

Underwear is underrated.

It’s easy to forget we are wearing it because when we look at what other people are wearing, their clothes hide their underwear. Yet we would not look as good without underwear. Without bras, our boobs would look saggy, or our nipples would show through our clothes. Without panties we would feel vulnerable in skirts and dresses, and very uncomfortable in pants.

Of course, there are times when we see people’s underwear even though they are clothed. Like when their panties stick out of their jeans, or when their tops are so low their bras show. Most of the time, when we see underwear like that in public, our reaction is usually one of discomfort or disgust.

Underwear is meant to be behind-the-scenes. Something we wear in private, that we can’t (or don’t) show to just anyone. Don’t you feel uncomfortable when you see people adjusting their bra or panties in public, like pulling out a wedgie? It is because underwear is the sort of thing that needs to be worn under – in private.

It is such a private thing because it is also about you holding yourself together, much like the way your bra supports your boobs and your underwear supports your butt. And when you’ve got yourself together, with your underwear on, that is when you feel at ease.

Let me illustrate what I mean: being in a hurry to get to the gym one day, I packed my gym bag in record time and bolted for the gym. Time was running out because very soon after that, I had to meet some old friends for dinner. When I finished working out, I automatically carried out my daily ritual of washing the underwear I had worn. Later as I was dressing up I realized that in my rush to the gym, I did not pack an extra set of underwear to go out in. Even worse, because I wasn’t prepared for this, the only underwear I had was dripping wet because I just washed it. So I surrendered myself to the situation and went commando! I know it sounds hilarious but the experience was far from exciting. In fact, it was extremely nerve-wracking. Even my friends could tell I couldn’t fully enjoy myself because I was so antsy and distressed that night…

…all because I didn’t have my underwear on. This is what I mean when I say underwear is underrated. You would think not wearing it is not a big deal, but I speak from experience when I say it makes a huge difference to your inner sense of security. It may be hidden and understated by it is absolutely essential. Why? Because we can’t carry off our outfits without underwear. Even if I wore a beautiful dress or a splendid suit, without underwear I would feel incomplete and very self-conscious.

So even though I was out with old friends – people I technically should feel completely comfortable with, I couldn’t be at ease. The discomfort and uneasiness put me out of the mood for fun, and I decided not to stay out much longer with them.

But wait – if you think not wearing underwear is a problem, it’s almost as bad as wearing the wrong underwear. I’ll bet you have seen people dressed to impress, but spoiled the entire look just by wearing panties that were too tight and created spectacular visible panty lines through their outfits, or fire engine red panties that shone through their white dresses, or granny panties that peeked through the top of their jeans, or bras that were too tight and created extra folds of fat through their t-shirts. Underwear is underrated – we think we can’t see it under our clothes, but when we least expect it, underwear can completely ruin our outfit (no matter how awesome our outfit is).

I used to always admire celebrities in low-cut glamorous gowns, looking downright fabulous. For some reason, our eyes are always drawn to their full and perky chests. I have to admit this, even though I am a girl. I always attributed this to them winning the genetic wheel of fortune, but I soon realized there was more to it than just that: looking so good also took self-confidence and belief in their self-worth. It took the belief that they deserved being noticed and having a presence – but all this had to come from the inside, much like a good bra lying under their dress to boost and emphasize their assets.

This sort of confidence doesn’t happen overnight. This confidence came with preparing to get to where they are, preparing their bodies for the public eye by working out, and preparing themselves mentally to feel like they are beautiful. All this takes a lot of time and reflection, all on their own, and in private. We don’t see it, but it makes such a huge difference!

Let’s call it the Lingerie Effect.

When we wear underwear, like a Wonderbra for example, it helps us develop cleavage – and we end up feeling so much more confident about ourselves. We can’t see the Wonderbra, but we can see the effect of the Wonderbra. That is the lingerie effect: confidence after preparation in private.

After all, the word lingerie gives us a new perspective on underwear: it speaks of style and glamour to an otherwise dull piece of undergarment.

Why is the Lingerie Effect a bare necessity in my point of view?

Most preparation is private, from studying for your exams to working out to get fit. Sure, you may do it with friends, but the only person who can control the amount of information you absorb is you yourself. Not only is it private, it is also unseen – and this is the preparation I am emphasizing. It is the preparation that is very easily overlooked in life. Yet this preparation, like underwear, is absolutely essential to enhancing your assets, whether it is your grades or your looks.

I have a friend who makes it a point to always wear lucky red underwear to her auditions. At first I didn’t get why. No one was going to see her underwear, so what difference did it make? Then she replied that it gave her a huge confidence boost, even though she was the only person in the room who knew the color of her undies. She called them her Power Panties – an underlying secret weapon that empowered her from the inside out.

That, my friends, is the Lingerie Effect.

I know it must sound pretty crazy for me to be emphasizing the importance of underwear, because we all wear it everyday anyway. But what I really want to emphasize is that a lot of us don’t think of the consequences of wearing ill-suited underwear.

When girls don’t put on their Wonderbras, it’s not because they want to have a flatter looking chest. It might be because they don’t have a Wonderbra to begin with, or are too busy to find the time to go shopping for one, or they just plain forgot to wear their Wonderbras instead of their conventional bras.

Sure, life goes on without a Wonderbra, but we wouldn’t have looked our absolute best. It’s the same way that life goes on if we choose not to take time out for personal preparation. We can choose not to study hard, but life goes on. The exam doesn’t get postponed.

We cannot underestimate the importance of preparation just because we hardly see the preparation that leads up to the final product, the final sprint, or the final test of how good we are.

Even though underwear is a private thing, the benefits of what we do in private show up on the outside. Likewise, the preparation that goes into what we do will show up in our actions.

This is an even bigger problem if we are very busy people. With too many commitments, it often feels like everyone is trying to pull us in all directions, and taking turns defining who we are. Trying to please everyone is exhausting and uncomfortable. It is as if we are not wearing the pants (and standing up for ourselves), and not wearing our underwear too – because if we had worn our underwear and spent time in private reflecting for ourselves, we would be able to filter out what we needed to listen to and then stand up for ourselves. This is an example where, without underwear, our outfit is

Without underwear (or private time), it becomes difficult to wear tops too. In real life, if we go without a bra, our boobs show through our shirts more easily, or even worse, our boobs look saggy! Without a bra, we would have to resort to wearing thick, baggy shirts just to cover up the fact that we are braless. If we bring this back to the Tops chapter, a baggy top cuts our self-esteem by and makes us stand out for what we lack.

So even though taking time out for ourselves might sound like taking time off developing our relationships, in actual fact, spending time alone preparing ourselves can actually strengthen intimate relationships. Solitude allows us to grow and nurture ourselves. That way, we can always make sure there are two people in the relationship. On the contrary, if we are always wrapped in each other, we miss out on valuable time to find out who we are and ponder the world around us for ourselves.

That’s the irony of it all. The more we try to impress people, the more we end up losing our sense of self. But if we find alone time, it develops us in a way that helps form basis for our relationships with others. Being on our own allows us to develop the confidence, competence and resilience for ourselves – which is what truly impresses people around us. Solitude puts individuals in touch with their deepest feelings and priorities, to help them sift out what is important and reorganize their lives where needed.

So we can see that being alone has its perks and its healing properties. It is restorative, refreshing and can recharge us as we step back and take a break from the overwhelming world we live in. I’m sure you will agree that we can find incredible delight in doing absolutely nothing on our own. That is the time the world feels less hectic and more manageable.

Regrouping. Recharging. Rediscovering. Refreshing. Reflecting. That is what we do when we are alone, in private. That is what underwear represents.

We can do this by making dates with ourselves. Use the calendar template in the next few pages to schedule in some private time:

(calendar grid) - to be uploaded soon

Of course, at the end of the day, we need to strike a balance between the need to connect with others and the need to connect with ourselves. This takes understanding what our personal needs and preferences are. Some people might require more alone time than others, like in the form of a weekend get away trip spent doing yoga and getting three massages a day, whereas for some others all it takes is an afternoon spent baking. If we relate this to underwear, it is just like how some girls need a padded bra to boost their assets. That way, they feel fuller, and more attractive. Yet others just need simple tissue thin bras to get by, feeling carefree with minimal padding.

No matter how much our preferences differ – from a push-up bra to tissue thin bras – it doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, we all need a bra. We all need underwear. We all need coverage and time spent in private, preparing ourselves so we feel more confident. And with that confidence we look sexy. Sexy is how we look and feel when we have a great bra and feel like our assets look great!

We’ve been talking a lot about solitude being a positive thing, and one thing to note is that it should not be confused with loneliness. Solitude means having our own undivided attention and being okay with being alone with ourselves. Loneliness, on the other hand, means that our sense of happiness depends on the company of others.

So remember that being alone doesn’t mean you are a loner. And on the flipside, being popular doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone and be a slave to acceptance.

To end off the chapter, let’s take a look at all the different underwear choices we have, as fun way to remember that private time can take on many different shapes and forms.

There are padded bras, push-up bras, strapless bras, racerback bras, sportsbras, bras that are clipped in front, nubras and nipple stickers.

There are g-string undies, granny panties, regular cotton panties, and lace panties.

What you choose to wear depends on what you need or want. You don’t have to follow others and what they like to wear. It may not suit you. think about your style, the kind of coverage your body needs, and your personal preferences. At the end of the day, our underwear choices are not seen in the public eye. But they are small decisions we make to make ourselves happy. That is what matters.

To the world, all that really matters is what they can see: the results, the glamour, the end-product. Not the preparation time. That is why the only people we need to set preparation time aside for is ourselves…and if you ask me, that is pretty important!

No matter how gifted or talented you are, or how many achievements you have accumulated, no one is superhuman like Superman. Preparation is always needed no matter what. And if you think about it, even Superman needed to have some peace and quiet in his life, by switching to Clark Kent mode. He could not spend all his life fighting battles, saving people, and combating evil. Even Superman gets tired and needs time to recover and repair from his adventures saving the world.

“Even heroes have the right to bleed

I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede

Even heroes have the right to dream

It’s not easy to be me
…
Looking for special things inside of me”

- ‘Superman’ by Five For Fighting

These lyrics from the song ‘Superman’ tell us that even Superman had to look for special things inside of him. And he certainly couldn’t do that while saving someone’s life and wearing his underwear on the outside! He ultimately needed to wear his underwear on the inside, switch to Clark Kent rest and off-duty mode, and find time to himself.

Underwear can’t be seen through our clothes, but they are absolutely essential. No matter how glamorous the clothes are, our clothes always look better with the right type of underwear underneath. Underwear represents all the effort and preparation that is easily overlooked, yet necessary for things to happen and for work to be done.

We need to prioritize private time for ourselves because no one else can do it for us. Private time is for us, and us alone. Likewise, our underwear is for us, and us alone. We can’t share it with other people. It is a very personal and private thing. So again no hand-me downs!

Underwear may be underrated, but I hope that you now see the real value in it.